Well, I didn't go to work today. I stayed home and slept till 11am. Maybe that was part of my problem with lack of perspective. I was so tired. This afternoon I went to the brand new funeral home of my old manager. Today is his first official day in business as his license just came in the mail. He's not had a first call yet but is pretty excited that he'll get one soon. The home looks great, very nicely and expensively furnished. I was more impressed than I thought I'd be, it filled me with enthusiasm for him and his wife. Too bad he won't be doing any hiring for a while. He did however make a phone call for me and found out about an office manager opening at another FH. It will be nice to see what else is available, but I really want to go more in the funeral directing path than continuing down the office girl path. We'll see. I'd like to know if I'm even marketable, so if nothing else, I'll be able to see what more I need to improve on. Tomorrow is a super busy day at work. Guess that'll be good for me, it'll make the day pass. I'm still not certain what caused my mini-melt down. I cried a lot yesterday after coming home. Was beginning to be angry with myself for not being able to just pull it together. I have a good life and part of me was inpatient that I was acting like a spoiled crybaby, but part of me just felt sad and frustrated and maybe i just needed to feel it, so I could set it aside. Like Morrie says in "Tuesdays with Morrie".
Now unrelated to me and my pity party: (maybe)
Yesterday morning I returned a call to a gentleman wanting to make prearrangements for his terminally ill wife. I caught him in the middle of a crying spell. It was horrible. His wife probably has only a few days left and he was pretty much hysterical. I'm guessing he only answered the phone because his caller id told him it was us and it'd be safe, because he could not stop crying. I explained the costs and process, I hate telling the costs, it's like putting a price on life and it's almost impossible for me to spit out the words sometimes. About half the people rate the process explanation as higher priority than the financial breakdown. They're the people I'd rather talk to, well, except they are sometimes the more emotional ones. After I hung up, I just sat and stared at the wall, swallowing back my own tears. It was a sucky conversation.
6 comments:
Everyone needs some down time. Even a vacation is stressful, especially if you come home to a lot of things that need your attention. Perhaps you just needed a couple of days to rest and regroup.
Go with your gut feeling Noel...the good thing is you have choices. Knowing you dont HAVE to stay at the job if you dont want to takes some stress out of the situation. And now that you have your license you have more options. Taking a couple days off to regroup is probably a good thing. In the end you will do whats right for you.
We are allowed out meltdowns! Mini and otherwise!
As for the man prearranging for his wife, you're showing that you still care about the people! If you ever lose that, then it's probably time to get out of the business!!
Everyone needs to cry sometimes...and you need this time...
And we in cyberspace wish we were there to reassure you...
Hey, girl... you okay?
Taking time out's should be a requirement for this job. I wish I could be there to give you a hug. This job chose you for a reason. Your compassion for this line of work is evident. It is wonderful to know there are people like you who take their job seriously. I wish there where more like you.
Your in my prayers hun.
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